Sixth Form: New start for Charlie.

Hey Guys,

Well, it has came to that time of the year again where children are going back to school next week and all of us teenagers getting ready to start the next round of tough GCSE's. The whole big time school rush, mothers trying to get all the uniforms in on time, organising what the first pack lunch will be.

However for some of us teenagers, its a whole different kettle of fish...this includes me some of us are done with school and are entering the adult world. Sixth form or college both are incrediably different and a huge jump from doing GCSE's in school.

I went to my very first college day today, and I'm not going to lie it really was tough. People already knew other people then there was just me. I decided to have a fresh start and meet new people...I kind of just got tired of the same old people in old school it really was time to move on.

I'm doing A levels which I'm not sure whether I'm going to love it or hate it but ethier way...I like a challenge and I know that A levels are what's best for me and properly the best route for getting into university.

So basically its all a fresh start for me...hopefully I will make new friends, there's still plenty of time for all that! Just got to focus on getting settled and getting used to my new lessons.

Sixth Form here I come!!!

Good Luck to those starting college or sixth form.

Charlie Bear x

ASL: My ice bucket challenge.

Hey Guys,

Charlie here, well... today I expierced the ice bucket challenge that everybody seems to be doing on the internet some people doing it for charity, doing it because its a craze or simply they were nominated by a friend or family member.

So, I was nominated by my lovely stepmother Julie Braid and they poured the freezing cold water into the bucket from a water hose and they put actual ice in. Note: When I've been watching other videos the buckets have had no ice in bearing in mind it is a ICE BUCKET CHALLENGE. The water was freezing but I don't regret it...such a good cause.

You can watch the video from my facebook page:  https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=1500357840202138&set=vb.100006838095100&type=2&theater

Exam Results have been a sucess!

Hey Guys!

Well I'm a very happy bunny with my results the hardwork has really payed off even though the grade boundaries had went up really high this year. Apart from that I've achieved good results! It's been really hard for me to actually concentrate this year with all the negative things that have been happening along with my battle with depression.
Here are my grades!

• English- B
• Maths - E
• Science- C
• Dance- C and D*
• Sport- Pass
• History - C
• Drama- B
• Religious Studies- B
• Geography- C
• Preparing for working life- Level 2

Good results to have left school with! Bring on A level!

Good Luck to all new year 11's and school leavers!

You can do anything when you put your mind to it!

Charlie Bear x

When somebody changes.

The worst thing that can ever happen to someone is when they change, yes I know people change all the time it's part of life there's nothing we can do about it. I'm talking about when people change for the worst.

These people could have once been your best friend, your partner I literally hate it. Well it's been happening to me with one particular person I used to think the world of. He's my ex boyfriend, we broke up four months ago as things just weren't right and you can't stay with someone you ain't happy with.
I made the big mistake of moving on fast which hurt him but it happened and he still promised we'd be close friends...me and him had a very strong friendship beyond the whole title of relationship. He met a new really pretty girl it didn't bother me in the slightest.

However he changed,  He started being really cocky with me and it was like he was trying to chase me out of his life as if I didn't matter to him anymore. When he didn't have anybody he wanted me back, bla bla and then he meets this girl and I'm wiped completely of the face of this earth. Yet I did so much for him.  Such a shame :( 


Worst feeling ever :( 

Charlie Bear x

Charlie Talk: 4 ways to deal/get over a breakup. (with pictures)

Hey Guys,

Charlie here! Well today I'm going to share some of my own personal advice on how to get over or how to deal with a tough break up. Break up's are awful and unfortunatly they happen to all of us all of the time but once you actually get over your ex the whole situation can turn into a positive one. Break up's usually call for a new fresh start; That's great right? Let's get started!

Here's my 4 ways to deal/get over a break up!

Number one: Think about things, Why did you's break up?

This is important! To move on after a break up you must actually think about the reasons why you's broke up in the first place. Then these reasons make you realise that you may have enjoyed the relationship at the time and yes you did have good times but sadly it just wasn't ment to be.

You don't want to be wasting your time on the wrong person.

Number two: Don't re-think your decision or consider taking your ex back.

Remember! If you broke up with your ex then you broke up with them for a reason and you need to leave it at that, an ex is an ex for a reason, you don't want to continue making the same mistake or to continue hurting your ex anymore. If you're ex broke up with you then why would you go back? You don't hurt the people you so called love and you want to be with someone who actually wants to be with you and doesn't mess you about.

Number three: Think negative of your ex.

Don't take this the wrong way! I'm not telling you to hate your ex or anything like that. However, when going through a break up if you think about the positives of your ex then getting over them will become a nightmare for you trust me. You need to think of all the negatives think about the times when your ex made you cry or when they hurt you or think of their flaws, their dirty habbits that may have annoyed you. By doing this you are slowly erasing your feelings towards your ex...it just helps. It helps me anyway.

 

Number four: Finally don't forget to smile
It's not your fault. Your allowed to cry! but don't forget to get yourself back up, dust yourself off and put a smile on your face. It's a break up it doesn't make you a bad person...people break up it's part of life. It's proberly going to happen to you again and again until you find the right person for you. You can't beat yourself up forever because you weren't happy or because the relationship didn't work out. Like I said at the top of my blog three words I can sum up about what I've learned about life so far: it goes on.


Thats it! I hope you guys see me as someone you can trust and I'm always here for you's like i'd love to offer certain people advice or just to hear one of your stories. I'll be creating a youtube video for Wedensday called 8 ways to get over a break up! so with a little bit more personal advice from me.
Thanks for taking time to read my blog post guys!

Stay Positive! Keep Smiling

Charlie Bear x

P.s Please follow me and subscribe to be updated on my daily blog posts!
Add me on twitter @CharlieBear166 I follow back!

 

 

Appreciating the ones you love.

Well, today I've had a wake up call...I've seen one of my loved ones hurt because I never realised how  much they've actually done for me. I haven't appreciated them enough.

Guys, always show your loved ones espcially your parents and the people who do loads for you how much you love them. Because it hurts them feeling unappreciated and I'm sure you wouldn't like it if someone did the same to you.

I'm not getting at anybody just myself...but I think we must stress how important it is, espically as theres many children who don't these days!

Just a tip of the day! and a note to myself!

Appreciate the ones you love always.

Charlie Bear!
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Add me on Twitter I follow back :) @CharlieBear166

Made my own youtube channel!

Hello Guys,

Well I've decided to create a youtube channel, it's not to become internet famous (like that will ever happen) or to try and earn money (like that will ever happen ethier). I've always just enjoy watching youtuber videos all the different werid things they like to blog about and one day I just thought to myself I can do that. Maybe I should give it a try.

So I had to think of some ideas for my very first video idea and I searched on google and there was all sorts of ideas like "Whats in my purse?" but the only problem was I don't own a purse and even if I did it would only have money and my make up in. What do people expect me to have in it? My sink.

I came up with the idea of an introduction video! Just to explain a bit more about myself so people could get to know me and what videos there actually going to be watching. I'm not sure if this is even going to work but I'm gonna give it a try! If not then so be it!

My video ideas!

• Talk about my depression and offer advice!
• Most embaressing things that could ever happen on a date.
• The sad truth: Self Harming
• Spreading the word about depression.
• 10 things girls find annoying about guys (and the other way round)
• What really gets me about some people?
• Question and answer.
• Be unique not boring.
• AND MANY MORE!!

 Please have a look at my channel where you will find my video!
Oh and subscribe pleeaaaaseeeee!

Charlie Bear! x
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P--o7s39UfY

Results Day Coming Up!

I really can't believe how much this year has actually flown by; first I was excited to start my last year in secondary school and now look at me...exam time, prom have all came and gone so quickly as well.
Now it's ths big waiting game for results day! Have to say I can feel my nerves growing day by day because I know that if I don't get the grades, I need sixth form ain't gonna happen! Yes I could do them again but isn't that not just a waist of time?

ARGGGGHHHHHHH!!
*pulls hair out

Charlie Bear x

Anyone else hate spiders?

Some of you guys, spiders may not bother you at all...well they scare me. I am petrified of them unfortunately, the people that can relate to me who have phobias of spiders or simply just are scared of spiders know that they can be a pain in our butts.

Well, last night I got no sleep what so ever, my little sister Keira who's 8 years old woke me up saying she wanted a drink and I was so tired so I tried to see if she would go back to sleep if I pretended that I was in a deep sleep. Then all I hear is her little squeal "Spider!" and I thought she was just trying to get attention and then she said it again I started to become a bit paranoid.

So I look up and there's this really ugly looking spider crawling all over the ceiling, we played musical beds for about an hour as the spider couldn't decide which side of the room it wanted to stay on. Then she hands me a book and goes you kill it and then we played pass the parcel with the book as none of us had the guts to kill this spider and then we finally look at each-other and go let's just get dad.

So that was my night basically! 

Guys please would you make a subscription for me!

Any comments would be awesome!

Charlie Bear x

Overcoming Depression And Its Demons.

As everyday passes day by day on our earth, the more the world is waking up and realizing that there's more people suffering from depression than we think. This ranges from teenagers, new mothers, elders and even some of our role models celebrities, even just recently this Monday was the passing of the great comedian Robin Williams who is said to have committed suicide by drugs...when police asked his family for information they were told that Williams was actually suffering from depression - this proves that depression can happen to anyone.
And it is. Deadly.

In my opinion, depression is a long term illness. I've had the illness from the age of 10 due to my negative upbringing and I attended therapy and it only would make me feel better for a short amount of time. Unfortunately depression doesn't just disappear with the click of our fingers...if only we all had a genie to grant us three wishes, making my depression disappear would be one of them and then following my perfect guy, and my own sloth.

Depression can almost be seen as non existent; it can be extremely difficult to understand which makes it really hard for people to seek the help that they actually need.

Now let me state that yes depression happens to everyone at times throughout everybody's life...however there are some people who are constantly stuck with feeling down all the time and not being able to push themselves back up to being happy again.

My battle with depression

Well, put aside all of the physical and emotional abuse that I was suffering from, all of this abuse effected me mentally from such a young age. When I was in primary school,  I would look around and realise that I was very different from others...I noticed I dealt with things a lot more different to there friends; when they would cry they would run to their parents and then me on the other hand I wanted to be alone, normally I'd go find a corner in the playground to sit in until I felt better. I lacked a lot of love and attention from my parents which made my depression worse making me feel like I was worthless I wasn't lovable. I started to lie to my teachers like my dog just died or something like that and they would give me the attention that I craved so badly...sometimes they would even give me a hug when I really was secretly crying about my life at home which they had no clue about neither did my friends.

As I hit my teenage years things got a lot worse, my hormones were at a high and my mother had more reason to throw abuse at me. We would have these huge arguments...she would keep me up all night, just so she could vent her anger all out on me. I started to feel more and more negative...my confidence was so bad and I felt like the only thing that could make me better would be to self harm. One night I came in from school and I was texting my boyfriend she didn't really know about him just yet well until this night and she asked me who I was texting and I said my boyfriend. She wanted me to show her a picture of him, so I did and she mocked his looks and said "You're not really going for him, are you?" and I just looked at her and said "He looks after me". Next thing I knew she started ranting on to me about pregnacny and how it will happen to me, she said "I know what all boys are like, they only want one thing to get down your pants and they get you pregnant and then leave you". Fair enough yes she's my mother but she started to repeat herself over and over and wouldn't drop the subject...so i stormed out the room. I felt all these negative thoughts and feelings rush straight to my head and I just collapsed in the bathroom feeling a full heavy pain in my heart and it was if I was choking on my own emotions. Next thing I knew I had a razor in front of me, I woke up the next morning with cuts all over my arms and I realized that I was getting worse and it scared me. 

There was one occasion that changed my life forever though, I went on holiday in the August month of 2012 with my mother and my grandparents we went to the canary island Gran Canaria. The first week went fine, chilling by the pool and the food was to die for! however the second week all went to pot. I started to get really close to my grandparents as I never really saw them much, they told me the truth about my mother and everything seemed so much more clearer where her anger actually came from. My mother and I had an argument one night and she was screaming at me because she was jealous of the relationship I was having with 'her' parents, she told me "You shouldn't be listening to the shit they tell you... you only listen to me got it, I'm your mother at the end of the day". At this point I couldn't care that she was just my mother, she didn't know what she's put me through and how badly damaged I was, all I could think of was when I was going to get home I was going to run away it didn't matter where I'd end up even in a ditch I'd be happier then.
When we got back, I left home and went to go and stay with my grandfather which only lasted one night...  because my mother was so controlling she got the social workers and made one big lie up so she could get me back home. The social workers came to my school and said "You should be with your mother, not your grandfather" and they dragged me out screaming. When I got back to so called home, everything just got worse and I didn't think I'd ever live through it...this was the first time I attempted to take my own life. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thought what kind of life am I going to have? Is it always going to be like this? How much longer can I deal with this pain that I've been bottling up for so long. I tried to drown myself in my own bath that night and my body retracted it...most of all I simply just couldn't do it. This changed my life forever and I decided to actually tell my dad and my stepmam what had been going on for the past 14 years. The truth. It was about time they heard my story.

I remember it like it was yesterday, I had a huge breakdown just crying and telling them everything that had happened it was hard to get some words out because I was so emotionally damaged. It broke their hearts to see me in this state.
Thanks to them, they've turned my life around so much...when I moved out of my mothers they took me in to go and live with them, they made me realise that I need to focus on my education and to be able to prove my mother wrong... they've supported me this whole time along with my best friend Jessica. Without them, and the many counsellors I wouldn't be here to this day.

Quotes

Quotes always helped me to get through my depression and life in general. They made me feel like somebody else out there felt my pain and they also just gave me a better understanding of how I felt. This is one of my favourite YouTube videos with quotes on depression it's 14 minutes long but well worth the watch.

How can I help?

Unfortunately I'm not God... but I'm here to listen to you's, you can tell me your own personal story or even ask for advice. Thank you for taking time to read my blog on depression, I'd appreciate any comments below.

Nobody should suffer alone; I've got your back.

Charlie Bear x
Twitter- @CharlieBear166
Email me! CharlotteLewis17@outlook.com

All about me!

All about me!
Hey, my names Charlotte however I go by "Charlie Bear" on my twitter, it's a nickname that I had been introduced to when I met my dad for the very first time after 14 years. He told me it's what I had always been called since being a little baby and it's just kind of stuck with me for these past two years.

I'm 16 years old, nearly 17. I was born on the 5th of November 1997 which yes! Makes me a bonfire baby (you would only understand that if your from England).

I decided to start a blog because I thought it would be loads of fun and it's something that would suit me very well...I think I've got good ideas to write about, also I love offering advice to people. Since I was 7 years old, I've always just been everybody's ear to lend or shoulder to cry on...I'm just good at giving advice from my past experiences, as unfortunately life hasn't always been kind to me.

That brings me to the dark side, since being a little girl I was abused emotionally and physically by my own mother...as I started to hit puberty and my hormones starting things got much worse. I got in touch with my father in 2012 after 14 years of not seeing him since my mother stopped all contact from him when I was a baby...I moved out of my mothers house two years ago in the October month and I've lived with my father and his beautiful family to this day very happily. The abuse sadly damaged me mentally, and I suffer from depression it's not something I like to brag about as nobody asks to have this illness...it brought me down everyday and that's where it led to the self harm and suicidal thoughts and attempted suicide. I went through loads of therapy and realised that to get better I had to surround myself around positive people...I started to recover eventually and I still am to this very day.

I have a passion for performing arts, it wasn't the fact that I could sing, dance or act that made me love it so much. I loved it because it made me confident and in the performance world I was fearless and nobody could touch me or hurt me. When I got on stage I became a total different person... and I would just explode into performance all the time. I love musicals Mamma Mia, Hairspray, Wicked, Taboo, Fame, Annie, The Lion King and Blood Brothers! the list just goes on and on!

Thank you for taking time to read my "all about me" I would appreciate any support or advice you guys want to give me!

Thank you
Charlie Bear x
Twitter- @CharlieBear166